THE Word

A word oft heard amongst family and friend.
Said at the beginning of life and at the end.

A word used often enough,
It is used for play, soft and rough.

A word that is lost and never found.
An island ringed by hope, but forever bound.

Many relationships came and went,
Still the word was never sent.

Time makes me jaded now,
As I drift off to sleep and wonder how.

What Do I Do?

I am in so much pain
And don't know how to make it right again.

Don't know whether to scream or cry
Its not really a choice, but would rather die.

My heart hurts...


I miss her and don't know why. We have never met, just talked on the phone. Why is it always a woman that pushes me over the edge? This hasn't happened to me in a long time. I just don't know how to get better, except to live on.

I Wonder

I wonder what I have done.
You say that its bad timing.
You comment on my email,
You've even sent me an IM.

Yet you never talk to me.
You shared your promotion,
Dropped by to say hello,
Even as I try to move on.

I sit at home confused.
There has been no solid break.
Any contact that I have made
Goes unanswered by you.

This one way street will kill me.
I can still see you standing
Over me and smell your scent
Whenever I am on the couch.

My heart is trying to heal.
But then I get word from you
And I am crushed again.
When will this turmoil end?

I wonder if I can feel
Something that is positive,
Rather that pain and anger
That is surrounding me now.

I wanted a friend in this,
But what is the situation
As it stands here today?
This I know, I still feel hurt.

Continuation from ROWY

This curse of mine does not ever seem to fade. I chalk this up to the "off season", but I know that I am only kidding myself. Will this ever end, while I am sane enough to know? My heart swells with joy at the misery brought to the surface. While, at the same time a terrible crushing feeling fills my chest. Some nights, like this, I feel that I am going mad. Right to the precipice of my sanity, right to the edge of my pain.

I dream the verse of masters long since dead. That ring with words written in my own voice. I see the images that they have construed and that I now see, but can not adequately define those thoughts to the page.

So, I limp along using only those words that convey a meaning to me. It is conveyed in the following poem. But, will you, the reader, see what I see? How can you really? Not knowing what I know, experienced that which I have, lived with demons that I have wrought.

My slumber awaits. I am hoping to see these images no more this night. To escape in folly.

The...

The web is cast.
The prey approach.
The spider sits.
The meal to sate.

The monster lurks.
The dead heart pumps.
The lust consumes.
The anticipation fierce.

The innocence is dashed.
The pain ensues.
The life is lost.
The darkness creeps.

The path is sewn.
The mind contemplates.
The vampiric soul.
The zombies rise.

Life is found.
Life is lost.

Both

There is no rest,
For now there are two.
One in my world,
One in another.

They are still dreams.
What could be,
What will never be.

One I see nearly every day,
The other sees what I write.

Confusion clouds my thoughts.

Blood in the Water

There's blood in the water,
The heart's all a flutter.
There's blood in the water
And the future seems better.

There's blood in the water.
The frenzy has begun in the fish.
There's blood in the water,
The predator roams for a meal, a wish.

There's blood in the water
And it will cover the sands.
There's blood in the water
Dripping from my face and staining my hands.

There's blood in the water
And the prey do not know.
There's blood in the water,
Allowing the ecstasy to flow.

There's blood in the water.
A little nudge this way and that.
There's blood in the water,
And my meal gets fat.

There's blood in the water
To set up my season.
There's blood in the water
By a promise, a reason.

There is blood
And it is good.

14 November 2005

Blue

The air is getting cooler, my dear
I see your eyes and know their fear.
Put your head on my shoulder
I'll hold you while the pain grows bolder.

Just a memory, from my past.
That holds my thoughts, but disappears as fast.
I dreamt a dream that you are here
to wake alone and shed a tear.

Again, you creep into my life
with that smile, you stab the knife
That rents my heart, my bone, my marrow
To stalk away to cause more sorrow.

Why can't my mind forget the pain,
Or not see you in the bed we lain,
Or not lose your scent from before?
Why did you ever come knock on my door?

Why do I write this poem to you
And go to bed alone and blue?

10.18.2005