Roaming Around Foggy

A silent mist roams the night
Dredging up fear veiled in stark white.
All around the monsters walk free,
Shown by their shiny eyes of green.

Alone, at home I write this tale.
Listening to the souls that wail.
Down within a screamer is I,
Lost to the world, under black sky.

Thoughts of women I've known in life
Plays havoc; never ending strife.
I have become my lost evil:
A liar, a cheat; dark devil.

My past temptations play with fate
A kiss, a fuck, just can't wait.
Emotions for those I know not,
Devoid for those when bed is hot.

Laid so often, but where is she
That will love my demons; all of me.
How can I care for another,
When life is all sex, no other.

My faith has been changed by the past.
No longer zealous, just the fast.
I can see God in everything,
But church won't hear me sing.

Friends have found religion anew.
While I have strayed, to bid adieu
To those who seek that lost ideal,
To judge for myself what is real.

Philosophy of life calls me now.
What do I beleve, to whom bow.
Allegiance to living being,
To follow heart and blind seeing.

Mind wanders with topics to tell.
But those eyes delve into my shell.
Again they are green, but do not shine.
Hammer my soul, yet won't be mine.

How do I proceed with this pain?
Deep inside, does the fog remain.
Clouding heart and fueling lust.
Dreams of lies and mouth of dust.

Calls of ice reach my life again
To heed the smell in bright lit den.
I cry out to see my new friends,
The long flat blade brings tears to end.

Can I cajole pleasure to those
Who only see home down their nose?
I have failed to bring this to some,
To end up on my blades numb.

The creatures are here and I am one.
Digging through life the mind is done
Trying to find the answers here.
Just killing spirit built from fear.

Alone, the mist floats through my mind.
Whether I'm an asshole or kind,
It does not matter, and I am cold.
Roaming around foggy and old.

11.15.97